ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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