i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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