were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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