Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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