so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
