Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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