i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
