My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
