He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
