She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
