so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
