How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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