The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
