i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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