I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
