Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
