I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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