whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
