I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
