She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
