The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
