So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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