she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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