we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
