You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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