You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
