Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
