every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
