Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
