somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
