i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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