My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
