I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
