??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
