I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
