i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
