If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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