sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
