So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
im about as happy as oj after his trial
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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