Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
