He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
