She's JV to your varsity
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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