I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
