Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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