No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
