is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
