Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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