Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
