at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
