I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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