O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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