she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
