I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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