I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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