Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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