I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
